have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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