I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
is this the sara with the beer cane?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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