i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
