so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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