Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
