it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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