When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
