Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
