Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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