You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
