And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
