Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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