her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
