I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
