I can text with my tongue
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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