yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
