He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize