She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
