Too much gin, very little bucket
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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