Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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