Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
