How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
