The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
