Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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