The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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