I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
