He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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