we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
