Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
