I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
