Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
