I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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