went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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