Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
