I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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