It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
