That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
