those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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