Are we in a gay sports bar?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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