Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
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My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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