Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
