Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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