What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
