u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
