Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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