the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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