The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I intend to get homeless drunk
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
