the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
