fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
