I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
