I must be too annoying 4 u.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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