Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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