I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
