I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
