Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
