Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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