I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There r osticjed everywhere
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
