He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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