Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
