I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize