ugly people sure do ruin things
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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