Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
