My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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