Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
